It is not going to happen simply by your doing. Something happens to you, something unknown; grace descends upon you. Your efforts will make you more receptive to the grace, that’s all; but it is not as a direct result of your efforts that grace descends upon you.
But that does not mean that you are not to do anything. Begin by desiring, begin by doing. Remember constantly the fact that it cannot be done, and go on doing. You have to begin with a desire for that which cannot be desired, for that which cannot be attained by desiring. Remember this fact continuously: go on doing whatever you are doing, constantly remembering that by doing alone it cannot be achieved. And there are so many methods to help you to do this.
One is to remember that you cannot get it; only God can give it to you. This is simply a way to make you aware that your efforts are meaningless; only grace will do it. This is one way. It is just saying the same thing in a more metaphorical way, in a language that can be understood more easily: that you cannot do anything. But that does not mean that you are not to do anything. You should do everything – but remember, it is not going to happen simply by your doing. So go on desiring, doing something for the beyond, constantly remembering it is not going to come by your effort. But do not stop these efforts, because your efforts are going to help in a way. They will make you so frustrated with the very fact of desiring that suddenly you will sit down and you will be just sitting, not doing, and the thing happens! And there is the jump – the explosion.
Once you can feel that desiring is futile, meaningless – then you will not create another object to desire; then desiring ceases. Become aware of it and it ceases. Then there is an absence, and this absence is silent because there is no desire.
With desire you cannot be silent; desire is the real noise. Even if you have no thoughts – if you have a controlled mind and you can stop thinking – a deeper desire will continue, because you are stopping this very thinking only to achieve something. A subtle noise will be there. Somewhere inside someone will be looking and asking whether the desired something has been achieved or not.
“Thoughts have been stopped. Where is divine realization, where is God, where is enlightenment?”
But desiring itself will become futile if you can become aware of this.
When you understand the nature of desire, in that very understanding the desiring disappears. When you have understood the futility of desire, the utter stupidity of desire, then you relate in a totally different way; a qualitative change happens to you.Suddenly a great peace descends on you. In that peace your self-nature starts exploding. That is bliss. That bliss radiates as love , it reaches to people, it reaches to trees, it reaches to animals, it reaches to the clouds and the stars. It starts reaching finally to the whole existence. That’s what relating to existence is. Then you see the sunset and in the very sunset you see God.