When you understand the nature of desire, in that very understanding the desiring disappears. When you have understood the futility of desire, the utter stupidity of desire, then you relate in a totally different way; a qualitative change happens to you. You are happy with yourself; you are not seeking happiness through the other. Then you start enjoying your aloneness, you become utterly joyous with yourself. There is no need for the other, there is no dependence on the other. When you are capable of feeling joyous, fulfilled, contented, rather than meditating on desires, seeing the futility of desires, desires disappear and you are left without desires.
Suddenly a great peace descends on you. In that peace your self-nature starts exploding. That is bliss. That bliss radiates as love , it reaches to people, it reaches to trees, it reaches to animals, it reaches to the clouds and the stars. It starts reaching finally to the whole existence. That’s what relating to existence is. Then you see the sunset and in the very sunset you see God.
And that’s what true religion is: relating with existence. It is not a longing for God. You can call existence God. God is not a person at all, God is a quality—godliness, not God. Existence is full of godliness.
Have you ever observed a beautiful sunset? What more godliness can there be? You see a rose flower—what more godliness can the be? Or just grass leaves swaying in the wind… All this green and the red and the gold. This whole existence is so full, so over-overflowing with silence, with peace, with joy, with ecstasy, you are able to be silent, peaceful, joyous, you start relating with it. That relating is religion.
Religion is not a desire for God, it is an experience of godliness And the question is not how to find God, the question is how to drop desiring. This has to be remembered, very emphatically remembered if you start seeking and searching for God you will remain the same person, you will never change. If you start trying to understand the nature of desire you are bound to go through a radical revolution because anybody who is a little bit intelligent is bound to see the utter futility of desire—it leads nowhere. And the moment desire disappears from your being you have arrived.
A life that is not desiring is desiring not to desire.
Nondesiring on the other hand, is not the opposite of desiring. If it is the opposite, then you have begun to desire again. Rather, nondesiring is just the absence of desiring.
You must feel the distinction. When we say “nondesiring” in words, it becomes the opposite. But nondesiring is not the opposite of desiring; it is simply the absence of desiring, not the opposite. If you make it the opposite, you begin to desire again – you are desiring nondesire – and when this happens, you are back in the same circle.
But this is what happens. A person who has become frustrated in life begins to desire death. It again becomes a desire. He is not desiring death; he is desiring something else other than his life. So even a person who is filled with a lust for life can commit suicide, but this suicide is not nondesiring; it is really desiring something else. This is a very interesting point, one of the ultimate points of the whole search. If you turn to the opposite thing, then you are in the wheel again, in the vicious circle again. And you will never be out of it. But this happens.
A person renounces life, goes to the forest, or in search of the divine, or in search of liberation or whatever. But now again desire is there. He has simply changed the object of desire, not desire itself. The object now is not wealth; it has become God. The object is not this world; it has become that world. But the object remains; the desiring is the same, the thirst is the same – and the tension and the anguish will be the same. The whole process will simply be repeated again with a new object. You can go on changing the objects of your desire for lives and lives, but you will remain the same because the desiring will be the same.
So when I say “nondesiring,” I mean the absence of desiring: not the futility of the object, but the futility of desiring itself. It is not the realization that this world is nonsense, because then you will desire the other world. It is not that life is useless so now you must desire death, annihilation, cessation, nirvana. No, I mean the futility of desiring itself. The very desiring drops. No object is replaced, substituted; desire just becomes absent. And this absence, this very absence, becomes life eternal.
But that is a happening: it is not because of your desire. It is a spontaneous outcome of nondesiring, it is not a consequential result. This happens… but you cannot make this happening your desire. If you do, you miss the point.
When the hand is open, the fist is open, all the air is there and you are the master of it all. But if you want to open your fist in order to become the master of the air, you will not be able to open it, because the very effort, in an inner sense, will be a closing. This mastery of the air is not really a result of your effort, but rather, a natural happening when there is no effort.
If I simply try not to possess you so that love can flower, this “trying not to possess” will become an effort. An effort can only possess: even in nonpossession it will be a possession; I will constantly be aware that I do not possess you. In essence I am saying, “Love me more because I am not trying to possess you.” Then I wonder why the love is not coming.
Someone was here. He had been making every effort toward meditation for at least ten years, but was reaching nowhere. I told him, “You have made enough effort – sincerely, seriously. Now do not make any effort. Just sit down, without any effort.”
Then he asked me, “Can I reach meditation with this method, with ‘no effort’?”
I told him, “If you are still asking for the result, then a very subtle effort will continuously be there.
You will not be just sitting; you cannot just sit if there are any desires. The desire will be a subtle movement in you, and the movement will continue. You may be sitting like a stone or like a buddha, but still within the stone will be moving. Desire is movement.”
You cannot remain just sitting if there is a desire. It may appear as if you are, everyone may say that you are just sitting, but you cannot be just sitting; you can just sit only when desiring is absent. To “just sit” is not a new desire, just an absence; all desiring has become a futility.
You are not frustrated with life because of objects. Religious people go on telling others that there is nothing in women, there is nothing in the world, there is nothing in sex, there is nothing in power.
But these are all objects. They are still saying there is nothing in these objects: they are not saying there is nothing in desiring itself.
You can change objects and you can create new objects of desire. Even eternal life can become an object; again, the circle sets in – the fact of desiring. You have desired everything, you have desired too much.
If you can feel this very fact of desiring – that desiring is futile, meaningless – then you will not create another object to desire; then desiring ceases. Become aware of it and it ceases. Then there is an absence, and this absence is silent because there is no desire.
With desire you cannot be silent; desire is the real noise. Even if you have no thoughts – if you have a controlled mind and you can stop thinking – a deeper desire will continue, because you are stopping this very thinking only to achieve something. A subtle noise will be there. Somewhere inside someone will be looking and asking whether the desired something has been achieved or not.
“Thoughts have been stopped. Where is divine realization, where is God, where is enlightenment?”
But desiring itself will become futile if you can become aware of this.
The whole trick of the mind is that you always become aware that some object has become futile.
Then you change the object, and in changing the object the desire continues to take hold of your consciousness. It always happens that when this house becomes useless then another house becomes attractive; when this man becomes unattractive, repulsive, then another man becomes attractive. This goes on; and the moment you become aware of the futility of what you are desiring, the mind goes on to some other objects.
When this happens, the gap is lost. When something becomes futile, useless, unattractive, remain in the gap…. Be aware of whether the object has become futile or whether it is desiring itself that is futile. And if you can feel the very futility of desire, suddenly something drops in you. Suddenly you are transformed to a new level of consciousness. This is a nothingness, an absence, a negativity; no new circle begins.
In this moment, you are out of the wheel of samsara, the world. But you cannot make it an object of your desire to be out of the wheel. Do you feel the distinction? You cannot make desirelessness an object.